Like many of you, I have been deeply disturbed by reports of chilled expression, self-censorship, and ideological homogeneity on college campuses. So today I announce the WES FREE SPEECH INITIATIVE.
We want this not to just be a reduction of censorship but a liberation of language. And this should be a community-based project in which all students can be involved. In the spirit of inclusion, we will give every student a megaphone for five minutes of preaching to the choir in front of Usdan University Center. We also will offer free soap boxes to anyone who wants to set up their own free speech zone on Main Street in Middletown. Free speech must go beyond the university!
On the academic side, we will continue to support incomprehensible public lectures with opaque titles, but we will not be restricted to this grand tradition! Henceforth, will begin rotating faculty members from one department to another. We need less expertise and more creativity! I have also informed the Provost that for now on we will ban faculty from assigning specific research topics in their classes. Students should be able to write what they FEEL! We will also ban any correction of grammar. NO MORE will professors be able to tell students what to write or how to write. In that spirit, we will encourage creative missepllling.
We want folks to broaden their approach to free expression so that it includes diverse communication channels beyond the verbal. “Bizarre” gestures will be encouraged to break the regime of repressive, neo-liberal normativity. For starters, in consultation with the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts, we are putting together a workshop on expressive slapping.
Wesleyans of the world unite. We have nothing to lose but our self-cenosrhip.